Managing Expectations in Sports
What’s my number one formula for success in sports? It includes three parts:
- Identify and discard strict expectations or demands.
- Replace expectation with high confidence.
- Replace expectation with simple objectives.
This is the first lesson I teach to my personal coaching students. Allow me to explain…
After working with 1000’s of athletes, I’ve concluded: that strict or high expectations can destroy confidence.
What the difference between confidence and expectation?
Confidence is based on the strength of the belief in your ability or how strongly you believe in your skills.
Confidence is simply a belief that precedes your performance such as when you see a good shot and feel like you will hit a good shot prior to execution.
Expectations, on the other hand, are judgments and demands that you place on your performance usually about outcomes or game statistics, such as the number of points scored in a game.
But confidence does not demand you perform great, unlike expectations. In addition, a confident athlete does not judge the quality of the performance based on prior strict expectations, results or outcomes.
Thus, expectations are unwritten demands or minimum standards that you have about your performance. They cause you to judge the quality of your performance and outcomes.
Why are expectations so harmful to your confidence? In most cases, if you don’t achieve your expectations, it’s easy to question your ability or lose confidence.
Thus, you want to perform without the mental handcuffs of expectations.
If you have high expectations and low confidence, it’s a recipe for failure. You want to strive for high confidence without the judgments that come with high expectation.
It’s hard for most athletes to let go of expectation. But you can replace expectations with small goals to help you focus on the process…
This is where setting simple objectives comes into theformula.
For example, if you expect to score 20 points and 10 rebounds in a game, this causes pressure and a focus on outcome or stats.
Focusing on simple objectives, such as getting open and taking the shot when you have the opportunity, helps you think about good execution, not outcomes.
That’s the formula or lesson I teach all my students. The first place to start is discard your outcome expectations.
To do this, you have to honestly evaluate what expectations you demand of yourself—or what you think others demand of your performance.
Expectations often come from four areas:
- Demands about your score, times, results, or outcome
- Demands about the quality of your performance
- Demands about your mental game
- Demands you feel from others
See the examples below:
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You can learn how to think like a champion and have ultimate self-confidence just like the pros. It’s not hard or impossible to achieve – I help athletes reach their goals every day and you, too, can learn the same strategies I teach to my students who pay me well over $1000 per day for personal coaching. Read more about The Confident Athlete.
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Master mental game coach, Dr. Patrick Cohn, can help you or your athlete(s), ages 12 and up, overcome mental game issues with personal coaching.
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What are our students saying?
“WOW!!! What a week I had. I was able to perform with a confidence that allowed my style to shine through–no more entering the arena with that “deer in the headlights” look or feeling. I stopped evaluating myself while I was performing, and I actually left the arena after my patterns feeling like I had experienced a lot of fun. Thank you so much.”
~Julia Dreyer, National Champion Equestrian
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Check out all of the products in The Confident Athlete Series!
What are customers saying?
“I first purchased The Confident Athlete to see how the program went and immediately saw results. I then purchased the rest of the confident athlete series and have noticed a dramatic improvement in my level of play or should I say consistency. I currently play NCAA Division 1 baseball for Lamar University, and even my coaches have noticed a change in the way that I approach the game. My attitude and confidence at the plate.”
~Tylor Prudhomme (Listen to his success story)
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~Shaun Burrell, Professional Surfer (Listen to his success story)
For Young Athletes and Parents – Learn More About How to Help Kids Improve Confidence Quickly!
For Young Athletes and Parents – Learn More About How to Help Kids Improve Confidence Quickly!We’ve got a great program for you called “The Confident Sports Kid: A 7-Day Plan for Building Ultimate Self-Confidence.”
The Confident Sports Kid is a 7-day program for sports parents and kids to boost young athlete’s performance, happiness and success… in sports and life!
The Confident Sports Kid is two programs in one. There’s a manual and CD for parents/coaches, and a workbook/CD for young athletes.
Packed with mental strategies that you and your kids can start using immediately, this program teaches your athletes how to identify confidence busters, proactively deal with them, manage expectations that undermine confidence, and mentally prepare to stay confident when faced with adversity.
What’s more, our program teaches you, as sports parents and coaches, how you may be hurting your kids’ confidence and gives you instructions for changing your behavior in ways that will improve your athletes’ performance, confidence and enjoyment.
Learn more about one of our most popular CD programs in The Confident Sports Kid Series…
The Confident Sports Kid: A 7-Day Plan for Building Ultimate Self-Confidence
Check out all of our products in The Confident Sports Kid Series!
What are parents and coaches saying about our program?
“I appreciate the advice to parents as to how to help your child become more mentally resilient to bullying in sports. The specific advice and scenarios are extremely helpful for any child on a team and very helpful in guiding parents, coaches and administrators in how to deal with bullying in sports. I cannot thank you enough for your input, and I am so reassured to know that there are people like you who are writing articles and doing interviews on such timely and important matters.”
~Julie Goot
“Dr. Patrick Cohn and Lisa Cohn are to be congratulated! Together, they offer a wealth of knowledge, information, and practical mental tools for sports parents on the substantial “mental game” challenges and pressures facing today’s young athletes.”
~Marc D. Anderson, LCSW, MGCP, Mental Game Coach
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What are coaches saying?
“I am really pleased with the Athlete’s Mental Edge workbooks – they are fitting in really well with my coaching! I find they offer a great framework for doing workshop sessions. I have also used the workbooks with a few individual athletes – for the younger ones (12 and under). They are giving a good structure and framework to our sessions. The workbooks have worked well with all of them!”
~Kerri Morgan, Mental Game Coach
“I am impressed with the willingness and openness of Dr. Cohn to share all of his assets (intellectual, products, etc.) with the MGCP students. You have developed an incredible model/package for mental training. Even though we are paying for your service, you are passing on a legacy built on your contribution to the world of sports. Thank you for that.”
~Tony Melito, MGCP
I’m a 43 year old stock trader. Being a trader is very much like being an athlete. I had tremendous success for about 12 yrs and then hit a very rough patch. I’m now going on 6 years of extreme struggles. I work hard, I’m committed, I know what to do and usually when to do it but my emotions, attitude and fears have destroyed any chance at success. I am genetically predisposed to anxiety and grew up learning to be negative and risk adverse. Day after day I do my work and prepare to trade the opportunities that will come my way. I tell myself each night and every morning that I am ready to act on my ideas, challenge myself to grow and reap the rewards. Then I sit down to trade and something changes…maybe I pass on a trade that works and I start to regret passing. Maybe I take a small trade and don’;t allow it the proper time to prove itself and accept a quick loss. Most often it’s simply not trusting my intuition and talent and refusing to commit to the risk involved in trading. Inevitably my attitude plummets and I begin brutal self talk…I suck, I’m a disgrace, I’m embarrassing myself and my family etc etc. I bitch and complain to those around me and work myself up into such a tension filled frenzy that concentration becomes difficult. This process has repeated itself over and over for years now. I have tried everything but I cannot seem to make anything work for me. Meditations, trader coaches, Canfield coaching, all the requisite books, psychiatrists, affirmations….you name it I’ve tried it. I understand the concepts yet I am unable to commit to them or to override my self defeating behaviors. I have a great family and a good life yet I am almost always down and frustrated b/c of my trading struggles. My marriage is suffering, my health is suffering…my quality of life overall is a real struggle and I firmly believe it all stems from my trading. I’m reluctant to try new services b/c I have spent countless amounts of money over the years and to this point all it has done is created a divergence for a while…I feel better short term b/c I feel as if I am tackling my issues and then when nothing changes i fade back to disappointment and frustration. Any words, advice etc is much appreciated. Thanks.
I work mostly with athletes, but I do have traders contact me about the mental game of trading. I can probably help via the mental coaching programs. You might also start with The Focused Athlete, which will help you focus on the relevant performance cues instead of worrying about mistakes.